I'm back.....

So I know I have been away from the blogging world for a bit. I just haven't been feeling good enough to really do much with the computer. However, I have been reading everybody else's so I could stay up to date with what's going on in your lives. So I suppose I should update everyone on mine.

Well, as some of you know I have been pretty sick lately . My Doctor's have been doing test trying see what was going on, and there was some talk about possibly having Lupus, so needless to say we have been doing a lot of praying and believing God that it wasn't anything serious. Well Praise God he is awesome. It is not Lupus. That was a relief. It wasn't anything to major. However what I do have is Fibromyalgia. For those of you who don't know what that is you can read about it here. To be brief it is something that they don't know how to treat exactly b/c they can't figure out what causes it. It will be something that last my whole life (But I have the Lord so I know that by his stripes I am healed and in his time he will do what his word says. My God is a God of truth!!) It causes me to stay pretty sick almost everyday. Some days are better than others and some can be pretty bad. I am struggling with the fact that I can't take care of my kids without the help of a nanny. I am their mom yet I can't do the things I know in my heart moms are suppose to do and the things my heart desires to do as a mother. I have been heaping a lot of condemnation on myself b/c I can't handle normal every day things such as cooking dinner or cleaning or even changing the diapers all the time. I really dislike where I am physically and how it is effecting me. I desire to be like all of the other mothers and wives who can go about the day accomplishing their cleaning, cooking dinner, preparing fun meals for the kids, crafts and things like that, running errands, and so on and so forth. I know that the Lord knows where I am and he is still loves me and so does my husband and kids. I guess I just feel empty b/c I don't feel like I am doing my "job". Anyway, for those of you who feel led please keep me in prayer.

My kids are doing great, and the upside to needing a nanny has been that the leg work I can't accomplish gives me opportunity to sit and just play with the kids. I get to read more books to them and play cars and just have some great quality time with them. I think they are responding incredible to the time I am able to pour into them this way. With having three all around the same age I was constantly pulled in several directions at once which I know many moms can relate to. I never had a lot of one on one time with either of them b/c I never had Caleb or Noah as an only child. I am now having time to really bond with them and get to know each one individually. Anywho, I will have new pictures soon.


I am back I will try to write at least a couple times a week. Sorry to my faithful readers:):) My break is over.:)

Till next time.....